DykeInside

It has been a way long time again. I don't have internet at home and don't really getonline all that much.
Alot has changed. Beth and I broke up first part of this year. After almost five years, I caught her cheating on me. And lying about money. Bills weren't getting paid and she was spending my hard earned money on the other woman. It got very ugly and stayed ugly for months. I threw her and all her crap outta my house.
I moved on. I started seein someone who is now avoiding me, due to something I'll go into in a minute. Don't know where we stand or what to think about it right now. Got too many other things I'm trying to deal with to really even worry alot about it. I gave her the chance to bail the day we got the diagnosis and she said she was in it for the long haul...but thats most definately now how she's been acting.
I have breast cancer. I think thats what scared her off. I was diagnosed November 17th. I've had two surgeries. one before the diagnosis and one since. I have to go thru chemotherapy and radiation. I got good news the other day. This last surgery I went thru was to remove lymph nodes and scrap the area where they removed cancer during the first surgery and to place a port for chemo. The lymph node results came in and there was no lymph node involvement. Thats good. Means it hasn't spread outside of the breast. The type of cancer I have is a rare type of cancer and its rare in someone my age. It normally only presents in women in their 60's or 70's. Survival rate is 30% with treatment and 17% without treatment.
Lovely huh?
Doc said once I start chemo, I probably won't be able to take care of myself. I'm not doing so great now. Since the last surgery, someone has had to stay with me to take care of me. And believe it or not, its been my ex, Beth. No questions asked. She picked me up at my moms the day I had surgery after the surgery was over and has taken me everywhere I needed to go, done my housework, cooked for me and basically done whatever needed to be done. We were to the point where we were friends again...I dunno. It's just odd to me that its her doing all this instead of the woman who actually claims to be my girlfriend now. She (her name is Lisa) was with me the day I got the diagnosis at the doctors office. And she said, "we" would deal with it together. Whatever happened, we'd handle it together. Bullshit. She spent the next couple of days with me, but since then....I'm lucky if I get a phone call. She quit even answering text messages so I quit texting. I don't need this shit to deal with too.
I doubt I update this too many more times. Not even sure why I'm doing it now.

posted @ 2:56 p.m. on 2009-12-25

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